TOOML #2 | Seasons of life, choosing & what I’m doing.

the orbit of my life #2

The orbit of my Life #2

09/03 – 21/03 (2020)

Life, Personal and Seasons

So, hello to this second sort-of life update! I had an epiphany (literally yesterday) in which I realized a couple of things I had known all along, but just only clicked yesterday.

To give a bit of background on this topic, I have two major dreams; one in which I have a wonderful science career (and might become an astronaut), and one in which I own my own storytelling business (and publish books and things like that). For the last couple of years, I have been deciding between degrees and which way to pursue and go on. After many trials and errors, I’m now doing a degree that fits me just right. A degree in which I feel that I LOVE what I’m learning and enjoy every step of the way. It’s a science degree. 

So, I’ve been doing business and creative projects (like writing and creating) on the side – next to this degree – from a business perspective. For me a business perspective means getting results and doing it when I make the plan to do it. And exactly that has been straining on me.

I have said over and over that “I don’t have to choose! I can do both at the same time!” and yes, this is true – I can. But my mom put this well; “At what cost?”. I’ve become a slave to my to-do list these days and don’t have much free time to enjoy the other things in my life. I’ve not been living in the NOW – and I feel it.

So, finally, yesterday, when I was thinking about ‘how on earth was I going to combine these two careers into one life at a time AND have the free time I so desire’, it shut down. I felt in my core that this wasn’t the way for me to move forward in this situation. I had to choose.

A great video explaining the situation is this one (starting from 2:00):

As he put amazingly; 

“You think that if you choose one thing to focus on, you’re going to miss out on the other things that you’re not doing right now. And subconsciously, you probably feel like you’re not just going to miss out on doing them now – you feel like you’re going to miss out on them forever. You feel like saying no to them right now, that feels like saying no to them forever.”

“It feels like if I don’t do all of these things at once, then I’m saying no to them and that means I don’t care about them. When really, sometimes, saying no to something now, because it’s not the right time or it’s not the right season, so that you can say yes to it in the future; That’s actually the greatest amount of care.”

And when I finished listening to that video – it just clicked. It was something I knew all along, but it had to click through this video. If I wanted to ENJOY what I’m doing and be GOOD at it – I had to choose one thing to pursue with all my might now. And it says NOTHING about how I feel towards the other thing – the thing I’m going to choose another time, when it is the right season.

It was a heartbreaking realization – because I didn’t and still don’t want to choose. I love both things equally and won’t ever give one up. But I had to give one of the two the preference now. And my degree is something I am really, really enjoying right now. So I’m picking my degree and thus science.

This also doesn’t mean I won’t be doing anything for my business or creative projects throughout this season/time. Not at ALL. There will be times when I feel like doing them, because it’s fun – and not because I have to. I won’t be putting these things on myself because ‘I have a business to grow’ or because ‘I need to write this book because I need to make progress and want to publish it’. It’s not the season to focus on growing my business yet. It’s the season of growing in my degree and the season of developing the skills necessary to be a research scientist in a field I love.

And at the same time, I will enjoy this season, because I choose to focus. And I will enjoy this season because I choose to have a life on the side. I will be present for and with what I’m doing, and not have to be a slave to my to-do list anymore.

Life will get more adventurous now too, because another season means that my life will look different – and there will come many different seasons throughout my life. It’ll make my life diverse and more enjoyable.

Also, because I choose to focus on one thing, I will be more successful in the pursuit of that certain thing. I might get to my goals and dreams even faster and in a shorter period of time, because of my focus – than I would when I would be pursuing them both at the same time (and thus take much longer). Plus, I would still have a life – thus enjoying it all.

School

As for reading, writing and watching – I haven’t done much of that since the Covid-19 closing of my school. My school has been amazing in continuing their education – but I feel like I have to do more now than before. It’s still fun, though I cannot wait to be back physically in a classroom.

Reading, Writing & Watching

As for reading – I haven’t made much progress with that, because I was too busy and tired to read anything when it was time to sleep. I’m going to change that starting from today (with my new “seasons”-rule).

Writing has been great, actually, making some changes to the overall plot – but enjoying writing when I look to do it.

Watching hasn’t been wild – but I have started the new season of Westworld (and I’m SO excited for what’s to come, if the trailer gives any indication!!). And if you haven’t seen it before, I highly suggest you give it a go, because it is freaking amazing. 

Plus, sadly, I was supposed to see the new Mulan movie next week – and that has been cancelled as well. So, we’ll see when I get to watch the best movie of the year ;). 

If you need any books, tv-series or movie tips now that you’re sitting at home; I made just the video!

Business

This seems highly contradictory to that whole essay I just wrote; but hear me out. My business wasn’t eradicated from the planet – it still exists and functions.

And due to the world-wide Covid-19 situation, there’s been one thing that changed for me – for the better. 

I was to attend a course in the UK, but then I started my degree and couldn’t do it anymore (which I felt really sad about). But now that almost everything is being cancelled or moved online – and I’m studying + pursuing school from home, I will be able to attend this course (online)! I will talk more about this course in the future, but I’m really excited about it. So, at least one good thing came from the corona virus and it gave me something to look forward too.

Stay safe and look after each other!

Lots of Love,

Britt

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Britt van den Elzen

Hi! I’m Britt and I’m a creative entrepreneur from the Netherlands. The things I love the most in this world are Books, Writing, Personal Development, Spirituality & Traveling. I aspire to be a published author one day – and it would be an absolute dream to become a bestselling one! I long to travel the world all whilst doing what I love (and preferably get paid for it).✨

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